Butterick 3645 Fast&Easy, copyright 1986 Butterick Company Inc.
Fast&Easy. Heh heh. Luckily I am not twelve, or I would feel compelled to say “That’s what she said”.
Ok. I got this pattern at a thrift shop yesterday. I was flipping through the pattern box, came across this one, and Recoiled In Horror.
Recoiled. Horror. Gasped audibly.
I mean, it is so, so, so bad. It manages to be both infantile and dowdy at the same time. How is that even possible?
I dared myself to pick it up and then got angry at the body-denying boxiness and then decided to take it as a personal challenge. I could make this thing right, I could fix it! Shorten the skirt by about three feet, make it up in a sheer, re-arrange the blouson, definitely steer clear of versions B and C…
So I bought it. 79 cents. And then got it home and noticed that the reason it’s so awful is that it’s a maternity dress. Speaking of Fast&Easy. Omg, who said that, go away terrible twelve year old!
Which still makes me feel angry and sad for past pregnant ladies, I mean, why the bib, Version B? Are you having a baby or are you turning into one?
And why don’t the cover-art ladies look even a little bit pregnant? Shouldn’t they, to best illustrate the pattern’s belly-accomodating lines?
Reminds me of reading Gone With The Wind when I was way too young for it and getting to the part where Mellie has to hike up her corset over her pregnant belly to disguise it so she can leave the house because it wasn’t polite to be pregnant in public, and I remember putting the book down and being like ‘what the actual fuck?’
People would be like, “You are too young for that book, you won’t understand it,” and I’d be like, “I understand that everyone is dumb,” and they’d be like, “touché.”
Anyway, all I’m saying is that I think it’s a positive statement about humanity that nowadays pregnant ladies are allowed to look pregnant.
sew it or throw it?
Throw it. It’s day has passed.